These are a few of my ideas i had to contribute to the scriptwriting/character backstory process, just a few of garys ramblings really..
When I was younger I wanted to see the world, reckoned if I got myself a little train driving job thatd be what get me there, drive one of those cross-country ones, and then when id earnt some cash I could stop off somewhere on my day off and look round whatever city I was in, sit in a little café somewhere and take it all in. but train drivers make a fair bit of cash, and that’s what happens when theres money in it, everyone wants to do it, makes it too difficult to get into it, you’ve got to have this qualification and that one, I don’t know why, all they’ve gotta bloody do is press a button and watch the track as it passes em by. So I got myself a little job checkin tickets, thought itd lead to something else eventually, but it didn’t and I got bored wit being polite to every tom dick and harry in a suit that was off to somewhere they thought was more important, and why does being in a hurry mean suddenly you’ve gotta be rude about everything, all I wanted to do was check their tickets and send em on their way, but no it was too much hassle reachin into their pockets to show me theyd paid for that tiny bit of card to get em where they needed to be. That’s around the time I started gambling it all away, just for a release really, pop down to the races, stick it on a dog, always the wrong dog though.. dog races aren’t for me, and don’t get me started on the casinos, I tried there plenty of times, but they know what theyre doing, they’ve got most of em rigged so you barely get your money back, and when you start winning too much they start watching you and put you off your streak, that’s when you lose and its ‘sorry sir your going to have to leave’..
I don’t gamble big anymore, I cant afford it really, but I still go bac to the scratchcards, they’re my first love, It’s a bit like Charlie and the chocolate factory when he thinks hes got the winning ticket- when ive got a scratchcard in my hand. That’s when I feel the most alive, that’s how I get my kicks. My heart beats twice as fast, my pulse races, I can feel the beads of sweat on my forehead. The feel of the card between my fingers – and it feels different to anything else, sometimes I can see my hand shaking as I scratch it off. I don’t use coins, just my fingernail, that way Ive got the little silver dust under my nails for a little while and I can almost smell the adrenaline ive just had pumping through my veins. This one could be it, this one could be the one that makes my day, that means I can hold my head up high and say ‘yeah ive finally got something for myself’, Ive finally made it, I can take (sons name) out to the football and maybe if it’s a big one I could buy a flat so he can come to see me and I can say ‘I did that, I put that smile on his face’. I win pretty often, but ive never won big, not yet anyway, which makes me think that maybe, if my lucks going in the right direction, maybe I will win it this time, maybe if I put the winnings down on another one or two cards, maybe if im having a good day, ten cards, eventually one day ill have it, ill have than winning ticket I need to sort me out and fix everything.
Me and Ben, he’s my best mate, we sit at the train station and just watch them, all of them going to work, rushing about, not getting the chance to just take it all in. It makes me think maybe ive picked the right route, and Ben agrees with me, most the time anyway. All those people rushing to work to sit at a desk and type or phone people up and ask for money, all that stress, all that waste of energy, and for what? They don’t get anything for it, yeah they get paid and they can afford to buy what they want, but they dont need it, not all of it anyway, they waste all that money on train tickets and packed lunches and £3 coffee, £3! And not one of em notices us, just sitting here, watching them waste all the prime of their lives going to and from somewhere they don’t even wanna be. So maybe we’ve got it right, taking in the atmosphere, enjoying the sunshine or the smell of the rain, or watching some bloke slip up in his shiney shoes and fall arse over tit just because hes in a hurry..
I go out on the trains pretty often, I like it, I jump on anywhere I like, wait til the conductor gets down to the carriage im on and just hop off, im not in a rush so If I fancy popping up to Scotland for the day, that’s what I do. The conductor might get near me half a dozen times in a journey that far, but so what if he does, I can jump off, go for a wander and then jump right back on again, and the more trains I get on, the more likely I am to find something. Doesn’t really matter what it is, one mans junk is another mans treasure, eh. I might find a book or a sandwich or maybe a jacket or gloves, a few weeks ago I found a hat, perfect for my lad, itll be just the right size, hell love it, brand new it was, or nearly new, but he’ll never know, probably wont care anyway. Im gonna drop it round at his house soon, maybe take him to the park so he can show it off to his mates..
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